Jealousy and Envy

These words represent two very strong emotions/feelings.

Jealousy denotes that a person has hostile feelings toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage.

Envy denotes a persons painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another with a desire to possess the same advantage.

A person that is jealous or envious of another often times is insecure with self. They are never satisfied with what they have, the way they look, or anything about their life. Most times the object of these feeling is not a rival, nor does that individual possess any advantage over that person.

I guess we've all experienced both of these at one time or another in our life, but what I don't understand is how one could let them dictate their life.

I know of a woman that is so consumed with jealousy and envy, that she cannot function on a normal level! It's very sad because she is always being told how beautiful she is and what a good person she is - but her low self-esteem does not allow her to enjoy who she is or the things she has accomplished in her life.

Can deep seated feelings of jealousy and envy be considered a form of mental illness? I mean they are emotions so if you allow them to dictate how you act or react, function on a daily basis, and guide your thoughts, deeds, and words does that make you crazy?

I've never been able to wrap my mind around the thought of being so consumed with another human being with regard to how they look, what they have, who they are with, etc. I could never imagine the mental anguish that these feelings could cause one.

Many people that experience these emotions have (or still do) struggled with self-image. I can understand how this could affect one's psyche. I struggled with self-image for a very long time and while I am now happy with who I am, there have been times when I've reverted back and questioned myself. However, I've never experienced any deep seated jealousy or envy toward anyone. When I have feelings of inadequacy I try to use them to make changes in that area of myself or my life.

I thank God everyday that I am not that woman, that I do not have to live in her head. I do pray that she will find some peace and relief from the demons that haunt her daily because I fear that if she does not she will cease to be.

Crazy Folks

Can someone PLEASE tell me why crazy mofo's don't know they crazy and how can we alert them? LOL

No really, I wanna know!!!

Remembering 9/11/01

I can remember 9/11/01 as if it were just yesterday. I was at work when the first plane hit, then in horror and utter amazement we all watched as the second plane hit. Then a 3rd attack and a 4th attack, all simultaneously. It was like a bad dream in living technicolor.

My first thought was thank you Lord that my sister was no longer working for Port Authority, because she would have surely been in the building that day. God is good because she was in the building when the terrorists struck in 1993, but he sent her home to us a bit shaken, but unharmed.

My daughter, 16 yrs old at the time, just could not wrap her mind around it all. She and a group of her friends had deep discussions trying to understand why and how something like this could happen in the 21st century. I told her that hatred transcends all time and only God knew the thoughts, hearts, and minds of people like that. I also told her that God does not sleep, nor slumber and any retribution would be His to exact. Still to this day she cannot understand it all.

I remember visiting 'ground zero' a year after the tragedy and was in utter shock and amazement. I could still visualize attending summer concerts in the plaza, and getting off the train in the Trade Center and walking through to go to work.

It's hard to believe a decade has past since this utterly senseless tragedy occurred. I just can't understand how someone can hate an entire country so much as to want to exact that kind of devastation. And for what? What was really accomplished by this? America is strong and her people are resilient - WE FALL DOWN BUT WE GET BACK UP - bigger, better, and stronger!!

I was out with my daughter yesterday and a muslim couple with a child passed us on the street. I immediately went back to 9/11 when I saw them, and although I know they were not the culprits I still could not help but cringe and have a bad thought when I saw them. Is this the normal reaction of all Americans?

The 9/11 memorial has been completed and is absolutely beautiful! There is also a 9/11 museum with things collected from the wreckage. Both are definitely must sees for anyone that goes to NYC to visit.

Although gone, NEVER forgotten.

~ In memory of those lost in the senseless tragedy of 9/11 ~

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Happy Birthday Janaya Anetra

Today is my daughter's birthday!
It seems like just yesterday she was mommy and daddy's baby girl.

Then she was 3 yrs old

Then she was 9 yrs old

Then she was going to her senior prom

Now she's all grown up with children of her own

Where on earth does the time go?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING DAUGHTER - I LOVE YOU!

Soul 2 Soul

I truly believe that God strategically places people in our lives just when we need them to be there, although His reason may not be readily revealed. When we initially meet someone we may think it is for one reason, and that is when we see God's true reason.

I met the man I love through his daughter. I truly thought God brought me into her life, but I was quickly shown that she was the God sent vessel through which he and I were delivered to each other. I call her Sweet Pea and she is my sweet angel of deliverance - I love her so very much.

Through my ups and downs, my good and bad, my highs and lows - he has been there as my pillar of strength and support. He's also helped me strengthen my faith and realize things about myself that I would never have realized or faced. He is truly my blessing. I love him so very much and I am forever thankful to God for sending this joy into my life.

The spiritual purpose of our partnerships is to help us break through the walls of our separateness. Loving is an exercise in sharing and accepting - ourselves and one another. It's risking a journey of self-revelation together...Soul to Soul.

Can People Really Change?

"I'm going to make a change, just wait and see!". We've all heard someone say this before, but is it really possible for someone to change the type of person that they are?

We all have a certain type of personality, certain ways, thoughts, behaviors that make us who we are - be them good or bad. These things make us the people that we are, so is it possible to change what/who you are innately?

Locksley Archer Brown

I was going through some family photos today and I ran across one of my cousin - Locksley (Lock as he was affectionately known by the family).

We buried my cousin on 10/28/2007 - He was the brother I never had - he was just 49 years young! Everyone said he was now in a better place with no more pain (he had been sick for some time you see) and how we should loose him. Excuse my selfishness because I want him back - here - NOW!


On that day the pastor said think of a pleasant memory of him and hold on to that. The first thing that came to mind was how much fun we had growing up. How we used to sneak into his big sisters candy stash and take her treats, and how he used to get me in so much trouble for it.


Then I closed my eyes to replay those moments in my head, but my minds eye immediately went to his ever smiling face and I remembered what a wonderful person he was - always with a pleasant disposition and positive attitude, never complaining. Forever the optimist - even when times were not so good. Always giving of himself - or whatever you needed. Always reminding us of life's simple pleasures...his favorite phrase to me, "Jan don't worry about it!"


Looking within I realized how fleeting life is. I realized that everyday in this life is a gift that we should strive to live to the fullest - fulfilling our dreams and being thankful. Not worrying about that which we have no control over. Not crying over things in the past.


Sadness and sorrow are indeed a reality of life, but we must remember that the rain falls on everyone...it's just life. Our time here on this earth is merely a dress rehearsal for our grand performance before The Master...this life be short but the rewards of heaven are eternal.


As I watched his casket being lowered into the ground I smiled and thought to myself, "I love you and I will miss you my dear cousin/brother. Thank you for showing me how it should be done...and now you can take your final bow."

Rest In Peace...until we meet again
Locksley Archer Brown, Jr.